STOP Asking If You're Good Enough

In one of my recent coaching calls my client said something I hear so often in so many conversations: "Am I good enough?"

I used to think my job was to help them answer that question. Find the evidence. Build the case. Stack up their wins against their losses until the scale tipped convincingly toward "yes, you are."

I was wrong.

Because "Am I good enough?" isn't a question you can answer. It's a trap door your brain opens every time you're about to do something that matters.

Before the interview. Before you hit publish. Before you send that text or walk into that room. It shows up, persistent and heavy, wearing grooves into your thinking until you can't remember what it felt like to just move without interrogating yourself first.

And most of us? We try to answer it.

We look for proof. We compare ourselves to people who seem to have it together (reality: they don't).

We ruminate and analyse and spiral, searching for some definitive verdict that will finally let us off the hook, or want someone else to validate us.

But you can't answer an unanswerable question. And while you're busy trying, life is happening to other people. These people aren't necessarily smarter than you. They aren't more talented. These are people who just decided to stop asking and start moving. They are the ones who decided to activate their thought or idea with action.

The Question That Actually Works

I'm going to give you three words that changed everything for me and now my clients. Changed it so completely that my clients go from rating themselves a 10 out of 10 stuck at the start of our session to under a 2 at the end.

It's not a miracle—it's science. Rewiring neural pathways to take action. And how long does it take to act? Literally 1 conscious breath.

They leave the session empowered, energized, like massive action takers. They leave feeling like someone just lifted a piano off their chest.

What happened in between? We replaced one question with another. And then—this is crucial—they actually took action right there in the session. Not planned action. Not someday action. Real movement, in real time. That's what breaks the pattern.

Instead of "Am I good enough?", we started asking:

"Let's find out."

That's it. That's the whole thing.

Not toxic positivity, but a genuine shift from judgment to experiment. From courtroom to laboratory. From "prove yourself worthy" to "gather some data and see what happens."

I don't know if anyone has mentioned this to you about confidence: it doesn't create action. Action creates confidence. Repeat it enough times, it's becomes second nature.

You can't know if you're good enough at something you've never done. You can't become qualified for a life you want by staying in the life you have. At some point, you must just... try. You must START.

Does This Actually Work?

Okay, so you catch yourself in the loop. "Am I good enough to start that business / apply for that job / share my work / have that conversation?"

Or maybe it's the "what ifs" that have you frozen. "What if I fail? What if they say no? What if I'm not ready? What if I look stupid?" That nagging self-doubt that runs on repeat.

STOP. Take one conscious breath. Say out loud: "Let's find out." Then propel into the smallest possible action.

Not tomorrow. Right now.

You need to move physically—your entire being needs to feel the shift. When you take that action, notice how it feels in your body. The relief. The momentum. The aliveness. That feeling—that's your evidence that movement works. Your brain will remember this. It's learning that action dissolves the paralysis, not more thinking.

Let's say you're wondering if you're good enough to start that business. Open your laptop and research one competitor. Just one. See what they're doing. That's your experiment.

Thinking about applying for that role but spiralling? Open your resume. Update one section. Don't polish it to perfection—just update it. You're gathering data, not submitting a masterpiece.

Want to share your work but terrified? Draft one post. You don't even have to publish it today. Just write it. See how it feels to put words on a page without the pressure of an audience watching.

Wondering if you're ready to have that hard conversation? Send the text. "Hey, can we talk sometime this week?" Done. Experiment complete.

The action doesn't have to be big. It just has to be real. And do it then and there, using your 1 conscious breath. If you stay too long, your self-doubt will take over and take you down the path of staying stuck.

Because once you start moving, something shifts. You're too busy doing the thing to wonder if you're worthy of it. The question loses its power. You've already stepped through the door it was guarding, and guess what? You didn't burst into flames, and the earth did not swallow you up.

What If Nothing Comes?

Here's what happens sometimes: You ask "Let's find out," and then... nothing. Complete blank. You stare at your screen or sit there frozen, thinking "I don't see anything. There's no action to take. I don't know what to do."

This is where most people think they've failed. They haven't.

This blank space? It's just your brain still trying to find the "perfect" move, the one that guarantees success. It's still in protection mode.

So here's what I do with my clients in that moment: I remove all the pressure. Every bit of it.

"Okay," I'll say. "Forget good enough. Forget success. Forget whether this will work. If there was absolutely zero pressure on you right now—no one watching, no consequences, no judgment—what would you see yourself doing? Even if it's tiny. Even if it's silly."

And suddenly? They see it.

"I guess I'd... just google 'how to start a podcast' and see what comes up."

"I'd probably just text my friend who runs her own business and ask if she'd grab coffee."

"I'd open a blank doc and just type whatever's in my head, even if it's garbage."

The action was always there. It was just hiding behind the pressure of needing it to be the right action.

So if you hit that blank wall, that's your cue. Remove the stakes entirely. Ask yourself: what would I do if it didn't have to be perfect? That's your experiment. That's your way through.

What Changes, And What Doesn't

With my clients, their circumstances don't change between the start and end of our session. Not one bit.

But their relationship to those circumstances does. And this always happens!

Here's what's actually happening in your brain: Every time you ask "Am I good enough?" and then freeze, you're strengthening a specific neural pathway. Think of it like walking the same route through a field every day—eventually you create a worn path. Your brain follows that path automatically: doubt → freeze → stay stuck.

But when you ask "Let's find out" and then take action—any action—you're literally walking a different route. You're creating a new pathway: curiosity → movement → data.

And here's the beautiful part: your brain is designed to be efficient. The more you walk the new route, the stronger it gets. The old path? It doesn't disappear immediately, but without you walking it repeatedly, it starts to fade. The grass grows back.

This is neuroplasticity in action. Your brain physically rewires based on what you repeatedly do, not what you think about doing. And once your brain learns that asking "let's find out" leads to forward movement instead of paralysis, it starts to prefer that pathway. Not because you forced it, but because you stopped feeding the old pattern and gave it something better to follow.

You gave your brain something better to do. Same amount of energy- now used wisely.

And here's the thing about reframes - once you taste what it feels like to be empowered instead of paralysed, you can't fully go back to being stuck. Your entire energy shifts.

You start recognizing the question for what it is—a stalling tactic—and you stop taking it so seriously.

The People Who Make It

The people who build businesses, create art, lead teams, live boldly—what's their mindset?

They're not the ones who woke up one day with a crystal-clear answer to "Am I good enough?"

They're the ones who got tired of asking.

They're the ones who realized that waiting for permission from their own brain was just hitting pause on their life. They chose curiosity over certainty. Action over analysis. Experimentation over endless preparation. And they kept on trying.

They took one shaky step. Then another. Then another, and before they knew it, they'd arrived somewhere they never thought they'd be allowed to go, with an absolute confidence alignment.

Your Turn Now

So, here's your homework. Not next week. Not when you feel ready.

Right now.

What's the one thing you've been asking yourself if you're good enough to do?

Got it?

Good.

Now close this tab and go find out.

It's just 1 conscious breath away.

Ready to break the patterns holding you back? I help people move from stuck to action masters by helping them reframe the stories their brains tell them. If you're tired of overthinking and ready to start finding out what you're capable of, let's talk.